It’s a strange thing, but all too often it seems that you are the last one to get what you want!

There might be many reasons for that. Few of us like confrontations. You might feel that you’re not in a position to ask for what you really want. With customers you might feel you have no choice but to do what they want (rather than what you would prefer).

So it’s all too easy to let things drift. The problem is that has costs as well. Some obvious, some not so obvious—like the long-term stress and anxiety when you have to tolerate a situation that’s not really in your best interests.

So it’s best to be very clear about what you want and take steps to make that a reality. And that doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive or trample on others. Far from it.

There’s often some confusion about what it means to be assertive. Understand some key principles and you’ll find that you can achieve ‘Win-Win’ results where everyone is happy with the outcome.

Use these three action steps, and firmly, but politely, you’ll find more going your way…

Action Step 1: Respect Yourself First
Of course, it’s important to be respectful of others, but don’t forget yourself! Remember you have the same rights as everyone else. Respect their rights and insist that your rights are respected as well.

Action Step 2: Leave No Doubt
Particularly if you haven’t been very assertive in the past, it’s important that people should be in no doubt about what you want.

So if you have been assertive and requested what you want, then you could step up a level to what is called ‘emphatic assertion’.

For example, if you have asked for a report to be completed, ”I understand you are busy. However, it’s essential this report is completed by 5 pm.”

Action Step 3: The ‘Broken Record’
If you run into resistance to a request, simply repeat it! There’s no need to be aggressive. Take your positively phrased request, maintain a polite tone and repeat it using the exact same words. Do that up to three times if necessary. In effect, don’t take ‘No’ for an answer!

Being assertive is a habit and a state of mind. Practice these three simple actions and you’ll find that you’ll get more of what you want with less friction and effort.

To your success

Judeth
Founder and Lead Trainer at WeTrain